A Work in Progress

Tax Re-"Form"

When I was in my early teens, I had this quirk – I enjoyed filling out forms.  In those days, our TV schedule was printed in a guide that was delivered weekly with the paper. [I know – how archaic!] This little mini-book was also filled with ads for all sorts of home improvement products and services, and most of them included a form to be filled out and mailed to receive more information.  For some reason, I enjoyed filling out those forms.

One afternoon, my parents called me into the kitchen for a conversation. They were both sitting at our kitchen table, and my dad looked particularly concerned.  On the table was the most recent TV guide. Seemingly out of the blue, my dad asked me if I was embarrassed or bothered by the fact that he was pretty much bald. Surprised, I responded with the truth – nope, didn’t bother me at all.  My dad then flipped open the TV guide to the page where I had filled out the form to receive information on curing baldness.  Fortunately, I had been my meticulous self, and it was fairly easy to demonstrate that I had filled out ALL the forms in that week’s guide (they hadn’t really thought to look, but jumped to a more obvious conclusion).  Alongside completed forms for basement waterproofing, new gutters and house-painting, it was clear that I had merrily just completed any form in the TV guide.  Honestly, I must not have read the ads for the forms I was completing, or I’d like to think I would have skipped the one on baldness to make sure I wouldn’t hurt my dad’s feelings.  In any event, my parents chuckled, my dad was relieved and I limited my form-filling ways to working the TV Guide crossword puzzle from then on.

Well, I am pleased to report that, after years of clandestinely feeding this passion for filling out forms, government tax “re-form” has totally cured me!!!  Over the weekend, I finalized and processed my personal tax forms, and the tax forms for the 2 micro-businesses I operate.  I had a change in the need for payroll processing this year, and cannot believe how many forms have to be filed just to tell the government that I would not be filing certain other forms anymore!!!  So, I am cured.  No longer will I look forward to filling out forms, written or electronic!

Geez, I wonder if I can claim all this somehow as a medical expense??

Organizing - For Who?

Every once in a while, I catch a show called "Clean House" - a lovely little program on Style network that shows families whose lives have been overtaken by clutter and disorganization.  I admit, it's a kind of selfish practice, demonstrating that 1) there ARE people who are far less organized than I am; and 2) the amount of clutter collected by my late mother is not all that unusual.

Of course, during the process, the designer looks at these poor overwhelmed people and asks them, "what is your purpose for this room?" or "what activities do you envision doing in here?"  Such a basic question. Now as I think really hard about my 30 Days of Organizing, I realize there's not such an easy answer.

My youngest son was home from college for a whirlwind visit for the Easter weekend. Of course, it went by all too fast.  But, during the weekend, I realized that although I have done a pretty good job of shifting the purposes and functions of our home for my sons as they've grown, I have not done a good job at all when it comes to me.

Like most people, my life has included its share of challenges over the years.  I married, had kids, suffered the sudden loss of my dad to a stroke, then shortly thereafter suffered the devastating sudden loss of my husband.  I've cared for my newly widowed mom while she was still in her home, and then expanded my home a bit to provide care for her here, through her lung cancer diagnosis and our journey with hospice.  I built a graphic design business based in a home office so I could be "mom first" for our sons, and then added the challenge of developing a Virtual Assistant practice as they grew. My two wonderful sons are now well on their way to adulthood, both off on their own college adventures.

With each of these new challenges - my life, our home, my surroundings, my routine changed.  It changed in whatever manner was needed to make everything work.  By starting my studies with AssistU several years ago, I was already preparing for the change I could see coming -- a life that would (for probably the first time) be focused mainly on my own needs.

So, I followed the "clearning" group last month, but stayed purposefully on the fringes, knowing I had some deeply personal and tough things to work through.  But, by the end of the month of March, I was ready to tackle one of my biggest challenges: the joint closet I shared with my late husband. I often compare his sudden death to living in a snow-globe.  Someone picked up my world, shook it violently and when everything settled again, I looked out upon a vastly different landscape.

So, I delved into the deep recesses of our walk-in closet.  I cried over some things and smiled wistfully at others.  Our local Salvation Army store benefited greatly.  It was so wonderful to look at that sweater I may still fit, but always hated and never wore - and donate it!  I restructured my closet for who I am now.  When I walk in, I see hangers and shelves with items that reflect options appropriate for my life today.  The guilt I feared does not exist - I know I did not "clean out" my husband from my memories or my heart.

Within the next few days, I saw Stacy's posting about the 30 Days of Organizing and knew I was ready to continue this process.  So, for now, as I look around me and decide the next thing to be organized -- I remind myself "I am organizing this for my use" and ask "what activities do I envision for this space" -- realizing this will be as much a mental process as one that will require the physical organizing of spaces.

My Year of Living Purposefully - Step 3 (Out of Bounds!)

I have to admit that I love the NCAA Men's and Women's Basketball Tournaments.  It is basketball played in its purest form.  After months and years of hard work, for some of these student athletes it comes down to the games played in these last few weeks.  I'm impressed by their dedication and passion for the game. 

Yet, despite the importance of the moment as they give the game their all, when they hear that referee's whistle blow, they all stop. Why?  Of course, there has been a violation of the rules: a foul, a ball going out of bounds, a time violation.  They all stop because they acknowledge the established boundaries of the game.

I've been operating a micro-business since the early 1990s.  As much as I have learned, and as much as I love being my own boss, probably the biggest challenge for me (still!) is establishing boundaries in my business relationships and then standing by them.

See, I want everyone to like me; I want their business. I don't want to make any demands on my clients - they might think I am difficult to work with and take their business elsewhere.  It has been painful to learn that working in the "out of bounds" area can be downright unpleasant. Really, it is not a good situation for either side of the business relationship.

In recent months, as I've been working through my Partnering Process with potential new clients for my Virtual Assistant practice, I have been much more purposeful about establishing and discussing my standards...  up front, professionally, and in a matter-of-fact manner. The result? I've had more potential clients who have not gotten past the first step of my process. But, there were 2 potential clients where we worked through the entire Partnering Process together and mutually decided we would like to work together. I can already feel the difference in these relationships, even in the early stages. 

We both discussed and acknowledged what we each considered "out of bounds" in our business relationship. Certainly, amidst the moments that are ahead of us, that referee's whistle may blow. But because of the strong foundation laid from the very beginning, I have no doubt that we will stop the play, acknowledge the boundary and then resume the game.

Why We Root for the Underdog

It's March Madness time again.  For the last several years, a group of family and close friends has participated in our own friendly little NCAA bracket competition - not for money, but just for bragging rights. Actually, to us, bragging rights are more valuable than money anyway!

Over the past several days, my bracket has been "busted" so many times, I don't even know if I can find all the pieces. There have certainly been some fantastic, buzzer-beater finishes, but as often as not, it's the lower seed who pulls out the victory.

I find myself saying this is the best NCAA tournament in recent memory, even though my projected winner, Kansas, was beaten last night by a relatively unknown Northern Iowa team. By the end of that game, I found myself rooting for the Panthers. These guys fought hard, they came to win, they hadn't listened to all the talking heads that said they didn't have a chance, that they shouldn't even bother to try. You could see it on their faces. They believed that their best was worth putting out there, and that it might even be enough to win.

So, why do we root for the underdog?  The answer is easy: On any given day, the underdog is US!

Keep believing in yourself.

It Doesn't Have to be a Dog-Eat-Dog World

There is  power struggle going on in my house. My rescue border collie mix, C, is battling the local wild deer population for ownership of the woods behind our home.  I am battling C to keep him out of the woods and the dangerous underbrush that tends to cut up his paws.

So far, C is winning.

It's amazing. I can scan the backyard and woods for deer before opening the back door.  All clear. The minute the door opens and my dogs head outside, the deer materialize from what I was sure were tree stumps and fallen branches.  The race is on.

Now, C knows he is supposed to stay in his yard, no matter what the temptation.  We've really been working on it.  So far, that means he looks a little guilty when he trots back into the yard.  This morning the deer were in the mood for a long and merry chase.  They broke into groups and led C happily back and forth through the woods.  From a little distance, I would see the flash of a white deer-tail, and then the black and white streak that followed them.

Boy, did C know he was in trouble.  After the game was over, he just sat a ways back in the woods staring at the house.  I stepped out on the patio and called him several times.  He wouldn't come. I suspect he knew I was more than a little irritated. Back in the house, our older border collie R, caught site of C off in the distance and indicated he wanted out.  Sure - fine - whatever.

R very slowly walked straight to the edge of the woods -- I could see that C was watching intently.  Then, R just started walking back and forth rather nonchalantly along that edge, sniffing along as he went.  It didn't take long for C to start a similar pattern back-and-forth, each cycle mirroring R's but bringing him a bit closer to the backyard.  At one point, they met up, sort of touched noses and then just continued their casual sniffing of the backyard, side-by-side. When I opened the back door, R and C came in together as they always do.

Yep, I'm still sort of annoyed at C.  But, I was truly struck by what I had witnessed. When I brought C home from the Rescue, I was really concerned about how R would accept another dog into the family when he'd been the "only dog" for a decade.  I guess I got my answer this morning.  I guess R decided there was enough love for both of them, and he helped C find the path to correct his mistake and come home.

I truly believe that is how it can be in business.  I believe that it is a tough environment out there.  But, I think there is enough business for ALL of us.  We don't have to crawl over each other, beat each other down, or make it an us-or-them proposition.  Your ideal client is probably not my ideal client, and by building a better business environment, don't we all win?

So, the next time you see that other business person get caught up in a chase and become lost, take a moment, mentor them a little, and help them find their way back to the path. Their success won't minimize your success; as a matter of fact, you may just find a colleague.

One of My Closest Friends Turned 12 This Week

Actually, depending on which dog year conversion formula you use, he's probably between 64 and 69.  Thank goodness there is someone in the house who is older than me!

Always a dog person, I smile at the border collie asleep at my feet, aging muzzle and gray hairs around his eyes highlighted by the sunbeam which warms him. He's 12. Wow! Where did the time go? As I've gone through my days this week, I've paid more attention to all the things he has brought to my life.  He's listened to practice business proposals and spoken fears and triumphs.  (Actually, my two sons assert that R is going deaf purely as a defense mechanism now that they are both off at college and there's no one here to talk to anymore!). As I move between my home office and other rooms in my house, R honors the intense herding and guarding instinct of a border collie by never letting me out of his sight.

Probably one of the biggest challenges I face as a Virtual Assistant working from a home office is isolation.  In the last year, I have taken steps to combat that problem.  I joined my local Chamber of Commerce and attend both the monthly lunch meetings and morning coffee gatherings. Another small business owner and I have started a Small Business Initiative (SBI) that also meets monthly. This group is a collection of local business owners who have less than 10 employees. It's an opportunity to gather and share conversation, challenges and triumphs.  After just a few months, I already look forward to those mornings, knowing I will be sitting with others who understand what it's like when you wear all the hats in your business.

I would encourage you to join a business group or two - there are all sorts of groups with different forums and meeting schedules.  You may not find the right fit immediately, but it is worth pursuing. And, don't hesitate to step forward and start a new group if you see the need. I suspect there will be others who will eagerly join you in the new endeavor.

But, on those days when you just can't get out to interact with people face-to-face, I sure hope you have a friend to keep you company in your office - be it dog, cat, goldfish, plant - to hold off that sense of isolation.

My Year of Living Purposefully - Step One

I've dubbed this year -- My Year of Living Purposefully. I wish I could have come up with a catchier phrase, as this one doesn't necessarily roll trippingly off the tongue, but finally decided it was better to put some "oomph" behind the words rather than worry about the words themselves.

I'm almost surprised to I realize I've been a solo-preneur for over 19 years. What started as a small, sideline business became much more important when my husband died suddenly, and I worked my business mostly at odd hours so that I could support our young boys while still being Mom.  It was still important when my widowed mom moved in with us for several years, and during her courageous battle with terminal lung cancer.

Now, our boys are successfully settled into their college lives, and for the very first time I can see it -- my business is important because it is important to me! No longer is it just a convenient financial solution that fits in with what I feel is a responsibility to other parts of my life.

The first step in My Year of Living Purposefully is evaluating where I am.  I know there are layers of things to work through, but by lumping all those layers together, I have been able to avoid even the most obvious decisions that need to be made.  I suspect your list of "to dos" is similar.  There are things that can be handled right away, and those where additional consideration is needed.  So, take your list, and separate it into 2 sub-lists: Things where I already know what action needs to be taken, and Things that need more consideration before determining a plan.

And, just because you know what action needs to be taken -- doesn't always mean it's an easy action to take.

For me, my Year of Living Purposefully means remembering one important thing: Putting off a decision is the same as making a decision. My goal this year is to resolve issues by intention, not by ignoring them (and have the decision essentially made through my inaction).

Work Smarter, Not Harder

Today is one of those glorious days that mid-westerners dream about during the dreary days of winter--not overwhelmingly warm, but brisk with bright, abundant sunshine. It’s an opportunity to sit outside with our two dogs and toss the Frisbee.   Their interaction got my mind working.

 

We have 2 dogs.  Rusty, a pure-bred Border Collie, has been a member of our family for 11+ years.  Cody joined our family from a Border Collie rescue organization last fall.  A Border Collie “mix” – he’s probably just shy of his first birthday – in other words, puppy-like.

It’s hard not to chuckle as I watch their play:  younger vs older; pure-bred Border vs Border mix.  With Cody it’s all about having it now and doing everything fast.  Playing Frisbee is a perfect example.  Once he gets the Frisbee, he happily gallops across and around the yard, with no apparent objective in sight other than to keep the Frisbee from his older “brother.”  Although Border Collies have the reputation for being one of nature’s smartest dogs, their intelligence is matched by their intense sense of duty and the need for a “job.”   Rusty displays those traits daily.  So as Cody dashes in a semi-circle near the edge of the yard, Rusty is mildly galloping along an interior (and thus much shorter) arc.   It doesn’t take too long before Cody collapses in a puppy heap, and Rusty swoops in, grabs the Frisbee and now the game is run by his rules.  It actually works perfectly.  By the end of playtime, both dogs are pretty happy and tired, but Cody has been worked far harder (that’s okay—he has more energy to burn anyway!).

My dad had a favorite phrase (actually he had several favorite phrases), but this one comes to mind: Work Smarter, Not Harder.

In this challenging economy, how many small businesses are working “harder” but haven’t necessarily taken the time to think about what changes they can institute in their businesses to work smarter and achieve their goals. This is not the same business environment of just a few months ago, a year ago.  Those businesses that will survive will be creative and resourceful, as well as hard-working.  I will hear the phrase “I have to work so much harder to keep the business going.”  What, exactly does that mean?  Does it mean you are working longer hours, yet serving fewer clients?  Are you making more cold calls in the same old manner, reaching that same group of potential clients who weren’t interested in your product 6 months ago, and have even less money and interest now?

“Paws” for just a moment (okay, that pun was a little much).

 

Pause for just a moment.  Evaluate what is working well for your business in the current environment.  Remember that when the economy does recover, it will not simply revert to the economy and business environment that existed before these current challenges.  Look at what was working six months ago, but isn’t working now. Brainstorm with other small businesses in your community—you are all facing similar challenges.  Help each other. 

 

Search for that inside arc that will lead you to your goal.